Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
