He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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