Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry about my life...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize