If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
