Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
