and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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