bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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