I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
