I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You pole danced in your parka.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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