blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
