So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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