I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm at about main and main street
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
