So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so explain again why im purple
no
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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