He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
