just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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