So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
