I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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