I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
