There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
