I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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