I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
