so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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