you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize