grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
