New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
