Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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