My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
