So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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