Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
