I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize