Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sext me about skeletons
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
