Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
