If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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