'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he high fived his dick after we had sex
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize