So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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