Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
