we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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