awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
