Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize