She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
