i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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