I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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