I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
