what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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