I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
