Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
