the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
