i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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