My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
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I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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