I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
