I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
