4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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