the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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