how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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