my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
