Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
