I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
