She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
