I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
