Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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