I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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