3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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