I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
