apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
