I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
