Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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