did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize