You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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