I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
